Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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