I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I just found a bag of teeth...
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
