i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Randomize
