beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
