if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
