I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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