My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
