Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
