Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
