Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
