there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
