I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
