It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
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