Can Purell be used as lube?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
