Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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