nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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