do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
