I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Randomize
