Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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