hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
