You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
