Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
