I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
