Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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