so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Less talking, more tequila
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
