how do flat chested girls get laid?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
