I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
