we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
