Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Randomize
