Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
