I swear she didn't look like that last week.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Let's get the cat blown out
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
