3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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