just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
