Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
