Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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