I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
