I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Damn victory sex feels great
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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