I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I want to fling myself into the sun
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
