oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Hippo gnu deer
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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