I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
