If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
