Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
i need some magic done to my vagina
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
