from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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