3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
