I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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