i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
