we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
