Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
