I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
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