I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
