I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
