after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Randomize
