She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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