He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
