There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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