So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
