Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
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