weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
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