one might say we're banned from that church
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
