You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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